I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize