Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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