dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
