i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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