Already got asked if we're dating
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am available for nakedness
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
