so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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