It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
