I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
