Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
