so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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