And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
