I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
