Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
