Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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