I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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