my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize