he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
