The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
