She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
