my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize