Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
