Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just tell him i said nine months
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
