i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
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i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
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Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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