New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
