Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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