I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize