I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize