I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize