You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
