If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The air was thick with penises
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
