Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
