i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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