don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
