she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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