i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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