It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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