I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
