Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
