miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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