How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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