Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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