Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
