I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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