My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
