Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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