How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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