she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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