So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
