i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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