Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+49): View more from Germany

i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.

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(650): View more from California

Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.

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(315): View more from New York

and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...

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(248): View more from Michigan

Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.

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(206): View more from Washington

cake and sex. what better combination is there.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty

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