He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
