The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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