What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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