He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
