Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
