I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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