When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize