you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
His nipple licking is glorious
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