id be glad to
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
