Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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