She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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