Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
