I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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