He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He better not be in your backpack
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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