dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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